Q&A Lawyer Jokes

I have complied my second batch of humor of Lawyer Jokes with a little break in seriousnes of this blog. Listed below is group of Q&A in humor form, Enjoy

Q: What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: A party.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
A: Your honor.

Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A: Just say, "Fees!"

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.

Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
A: Not enough cement.

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator.

Law Forms for Personal Use

101 Law Forms for Personal Use

 By Ralph Warner, Robin Leonard

If you are looking for some personal law forms minus the hassle of getting a personal lawyer than i really would recommend you to take a look at this book that will save a whole lot of money . The book cover forms like Children Car pool Agreement , Basic wills , Landlord-tenant agreement to terminate lease , U.C.C financing statement , Motor vehicle bill of sale , Dealing with junk mail and Telemarketing calls , identity theft worksheet and many more forms about 101 different forms that you can legal use as your own security .


this book come with a CD-Rom in which you can install and edit form directly on your personal computer for quick and professional look . If you would rather just use the form of the pages you can zap a copy fro the book or just use the easy tear out form .

To view a review of this book you can go to Google books that has all the explanation of what the book covers minus the form that  is found in the full book itself .


Click here to preview book ----->>>> 

101 Law Forms for Personal Use

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\'40-Year-Old Virgin\' Actor Shelley Malil Found Guilty of Attempted Murder

Malil was also found guilty of assault with a deadly weapon. He was acquitted of residential burglary. The actor pleaded not guilty to all the charges, claiming he thought Beebe was somebody else getting ready to attack him.

Beebe was stabbed at her San Diego County home in August 2008 after Malil found her socializing with another man, David Maldonado. Malil reported he felt threatened and believed Maldonado was going to kill him. He recalls getting "hit from the back on the side of the head. It felt like cold granite countertop."

Shelley Malil, the actor best known for playing an electronics store clerk in 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin,' was found guilty Thursday of attempted premeditated murder of his ex-girlfriend, Kendra Beebe, the Associated Press reports. The actor faces up 21 years to life in prison for the knife attack.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/09/16/40-year-old-virgin-actor-shelley-malil-guilty-attempt/?a_dgi=aolshare_email

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• Jury finds LA actor guilty of attempted murder (omg.yahoo.com)

Judge Calls Snooki a 'Lindsay Lohan Wannabe'

Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was fined $500 and ordered to perform community service after pleading guilty on Wednesday to disturbing New Jersey beachgoers, according to an AP report.
She was also given a lecture by presiding Judge Damian G. Murray, who called the reality star, 22, a "Lindsay Lohan wannabe."


Snooki was arrested on July 30 for being intoxicated in public. After the incident, she said the arrest made her "feel like a criminal" and reevaluate her drinking habits.

Paris Hilton ARRESTED On Cocaine Charge

LAS VEGAS — Smoke wafting from a Cadillac Escalade on the Las Vegas Strip set off Paris Hilton's latest legal troubles when a motorcycle officer who suspected the smell was marijuana stopped the vehicle and police say a bag of cocaine later fell out of the 29-year-old socialite's purse.
It's the second time this year Hilton has been arrested on drug possession allegations, although authorities in South Africa dropped marijuana charges earlier this summer. In 2007, Hilton pleaded no contest to alcohol-related reckless driving and was sentenced to 45 days in jail.
This time, the hotel heiress was with her boyfriend, Las Vegas nightclub mogul Cy Waits, who manages a club inside the Wynn Las Vegas and was driving the black SUV that the officer stopped nearby at 11:22 p.m. Friday.
The officer "followed the vapor trail and the odor of marijuana to the Escalade," police Sgt. John Sheahan said.
As other police arrived and a crowd gathered on the busy neon-lit Strip, Hilton asked to go into the Wynn resort for privacy, Sheahan said.
"Miss Hilton pulled out a tube of lip balm," Sheahan said. "At the same time ... a bindle of cocaine in a plastic bag came out of her purse" in plain view of police in the room.

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The Shaquan Duley Murder Case: Why Moms Snap

 
The Shaquan Duley Murder Case: Why Moms Snap

Shaquan Duley, the South Carolina mother who allegedly suffocated two of her young children this week before submerging her car — with the bodies of her 18-month-old and two-year-old sons inside it — in a river, has been arrested and charged with two counts of murder. Investigators have not said yet whether Duley has been assessed by a mental-health practitioner. But in some cases of mother-on-child violence, experts note that the moms were suffering from postpartum disorders, which left untreated, can yield dangerous — and sometimes deadly — consequences. Diane Sanford, psychologist and co-author of Life Will Never Be The Same: The Real Mom's Postpartum Survival Guide talks to TIME about how these illnesses can sometimes cause mothers to snap.
What can you tell me about women who are driven to kill their own children?
In general, women who kill their own children


Read more: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2011630,00.html#ixzz0xJxz8m2N

JetBlue Attendant Held on Bail as Lawyer Cites Abuse on Flight

N.Y. / Region

City Room: JetBlue Attendant Held on Bail as Lawyer Cites Abuse on Flight

By By ANDY NEWMAN and MICK MEENAN

Published: August 10, 2010

Steven Slater's lawyer said that the woman passenger who aroused Mr. Slater's ire had slammed an overhead baggage-compartment door onto his head at the beginning of the flight at Pittsburgh.