Lawyer Humor Time

From time to time i will post some lawyer related humor that I find on the web to break out of doom and glooms. I found nice nice lawyer humor site at http://www.comedy-zone.net/jokes/lawyer.htm and thought to share a few jokes here. Enjoy!

TRUST ME... I'M A LAWYER
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

QUICKFIRE LAWYER GAGS
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips move

Q: What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honour.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they are all nice guys

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of crap?
A: a bucket

A MOST UNUSUAL DEFENCE

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Its me again. Please leave a comment of any new humors or a link to funny lawyer sites.

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